One of my best friends recently posted this on his blog. It really captures how I find myself feeling so many times. So I thought I would just repost his thoughts and write "ditto."
The Pain of Pastoring
For some time I have had some thoughts rolling around on my heart that I am going to articulate for my own processing and also as a way for me to share my heart with you. I am thinking that I will take a couple posts and share a few different parts of pastoring that cause me pain. I also believe that you may be able to easily associate with similar pain in your own lives.
One of the biggest pains of pastoring is when people leave the church! Just earlier today I left a voicemail for a friend who used to attend Parkview. Not only was I close with this guy but so were our families close. I watched the family experience Life Change, in fact, I recall baptizing every member of the family at different times. I also remember when the husband lost his job…I remember walking that road…helping him be ok with being lied about and fired without cause…he moved to another state. About a week ago I called a friend who used to attend Parkview. He is one of the most godly men I know. I saw incredible leadership potential within this man and prayed we would minister together for years…he moved to another state. On a regular basis I see posts and comments from former Parkview congregants on Facebook. Just today I saw a funny post from a former church leader, they said something about their son, who was friends with my son…they moved…my son cried that day.
Just in case you wonder if the only pain that is felt is when someone moves – that is not the case. On other occasions people have left without moving and that hurts too – sometimes more. Here are a few things that come to mind:
- they leave and can’t really explain why
- they leave because God is leading
- they leave because somebody has hurt them
- they leave because their spouse is pushing the issue
- they leave because they quit on God
- they leave without saying anything
- they leave and don’t want to meet and discuss
- they leave because they have other needs
- I am not sure I care to continue to think of more reasons or situations
I am friends with a number of pastors and some at a very deep level. They all feel the same way and have experienced all of the above…I am not alone. Without crying and whinning I would state that I have something unique that I deal with that many, not all, of my pastor friends do not – I pastor in a city that has an extreme amount of turnover. Palm Coast is transient unlike many other cities – if you live here you know what I mean, if you don’t I will spare you the details.
To be clear, I am not blaming those who leave, nor do I fault them. I am just talking about my feelings – it hurts; if it didn’t then I guess I should get another job. I believe the Lord gives the shepherd a shepherd’s heart. I also greatly appreciate all those who have grieved with me in their departure.
Better to have loved and “lost” than to have never loved at all.
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